Learning self-cultivation 2025-01-31-01

A+ has a lot of opportunities to wrestle with boredom.

It would be amazing if she could get the hang of self-cultivation.

That requires:

• emotional regulation
• experience
• skill
• maturity

and many grown-ups struggle with it.

What have I learned from people's lives?

• My dad found his thing as a grown-up.
• My mom doesn't have a thing.
• W- enjoys many interests.
• I have Emacs and other interests, starting from coding as a child.
• A few people find their thing young. A few people find their thing at different stages. Many people never quite find their thing and still live their lives.

What do I know?

• It rarely strikes as a bolt from the blue.
• It can be misled by praise or dopamine.
• You start by noticing and then nourishing. It's a cycle.
• It's not a one-time thing.
• It thrives in a tribe, but that's not essential.
  • Learning & sharing is how you can build that.

There's no point trying to push her into it.

What can I do?

• provide space
• support & validate exploration
• share our curiosity, model that enjoyment

How can I improve?

• follow & share my curiosity
• show how we're growing

Conversation:

• I'm bored!
• What about ..., ..., ...? (not effective, try other things)
• I don't wanna.
• I wanna play with someone.

That's fine, she wants to. play with us. Just need to figure out:

• What if we're not available?
  • grumbles a bit, then settles down to read
• What if we want to pick something that fits this particular moment?